


Open For Business

by HazelWitch81



Category: Futurama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3752044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelWitch81/pseuds/HazelWitch81
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Planet Express ship is broken down beyond repair and has exceeded it's warranty.  Bender buys a spacetank that is way too expensive for Planet Express to afford.  A rainstorm, a new megastore opens that Fry goes to work for.   Spells nothing but trouble for the Crew.   The megastore soon takes jobs away from New New York.  What's the solution?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open For Business

Futurama

Open For Business

by: Hailey Sands

Once You Give It Up, You Keep Going Back

Screen: Bill and Ted Cartoon

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Chapter One:� �

 

One fateful rainy afternoon in New New York.� � Everybody was at the conference room to wait to hear about the Planet Express ship.� �Farnsworth comes to make an annoucement, as things look grim.

 

Hermes:� Don't keep us in the dark, Professor!� �What of the Planet Express ship?

Bender (angerly):� Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait!� �Where does it say in the script that Hermes gets the first line?� I get the first line, me Bender!

Farnsworth:� �Trying to announce something here, so knock it off!

Hermes:� Thank you, Professor.

Farnsworth:� You too! (points to Hermes)

Hermes (confused):� �What did I do?

Fry:� Hmm.� That wasn't fair.

Farnsworth:� All right.� Back to business.� �The Planet Express ship is broken beyond repair.�� it expired it's warranty.

Everybody exclaimed in disgust.

Leela:� �How will we do our deliveries?

Amy:� Can't you hire a maintence man?

Farnsworth:� To answer your question, Leela.� �We don't be doing deliveries for a while until we get a new ship.� �Some of you will have to go to Malfunctioning Eddies and buy a new spaceship.� �But it has to be an affordable one.� Planet Express runs on a middle class budget.

Zoidberg (scared):� Don't ask me to do it!� �Car dealers always keep trying to screw with me!

Hermes:� Perhaps me and Amy could go.

Amy:� What with me and Hermes being wealthy....

Farnsworth:� No.� �In all fairness our crew Fry, Leela, and Bender will go.

Fry:� �All right, awesome!� �We don't let you down, Professor.

Leela:� � Since you mentioned being on a middle class budget, will one of us here have to get a second job to pay for the new spaceship?

Farnsworth:� Only if it's expensive beyond our means.

Bender (points to himself):� Come along, little organtubes!� �I'll buy us a new spaceship.� After all, I am the only one who has car dealership haggling expirence!� �Less talk, more action!� �Let's go already!

Fry:� Think he'll explode on us while we're there?

Leela, Bender, and Fry all go to Malfuctioning Eddies in a hovercab.

 

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Chapter Two:

The rain continued outisde.� �Fry, Bender, and Leela are now at Malfunctioning Eddies in the waiting room watching the news.� �

Fry:� Why is he making us wait so long?

Leela:� There are other costumers here before us.

Bender:� You both better keep your mouths shut and let me handle this!��

Linda:� Good afternoon.� �The rain on the Eastern Seaboard is expected to last until the end of the month.

Morbo:� Hopefully the rain will flood the Earth and wash away puny Earthlings in a sea of humanity!��

Linda (laughing):� Anyway, in New New York, a new convience megastore opened called Wahl-Kohls.� It's a varity store that sells everything at low prices.� �They are now hiring anything or anyone.

Leela:� At least all this rain melting the snow.� �The last thing the Eastern Seaboard needs is another weather disaster!

Bender:� Yeah, there should be a Sharknado coming our way next! �� That would be neat!

Fry:� �Wahl-Kohls?� We had stores like that back in my time.� Called Wallgreens and Wal-Mart.��

Bender and Leela (together):� We know.

Preacherbot comes up to Fry, Leela, and Bender.

Leela:� Preacherbot?� What are you doing here?

Preacherbot:� Well, I like to spread the word anywhere.� �And warn you all of the dangers and sins of cheating and being conned.� �I am also a part time car dealer!

Bender:� I love cheating and conning!� �You won't get me to convert, pal!� � You ain't gettin' me into Robotology again!� �If anything, YOU'RE the con man!� �Rob Lowe's head should do a commercial where he's a character like you!

Preacherbot:� Burn in Robot Hell, Bender!

Bender:� Already know what that's like, thanks to you!

Preacherbot (looks at Leela):� You cyclops!� �Would YOU like to testify?

Leela:� Grew up believing every religion is wrong!� �You are ruining my all time favorite Mad TV 3015 sketch!

Fry (jumping up and down):� I wanna testify!� �I wanna testify!��

Preacherbot:� You, skinny man!� �Let me show you the way!� The path of enlightenment!� �To my showroom!� What would you like to testify?� �Cleanse your soul and confess!

Fry:� �Well, back in the past.� Had this girlfriend named Michelle who lied to me a lot.� we were in the backseat of a car listening to Bel Biv Devoe....

Preacherbot leads Fry into his hovercar showroom.� Bender and Leela find Malfunctioning Eddie at his desk three yards away.

Malfunctioning Eddie:� Hey.� Leela and Bender!� �What can I get for you today?

Leela:� We're from Planet Express.� �We need a spaceship because the one we had expired it's warranty.� �Our original one broke....

Before Leela can finish, Bender shoves her aside and Leela hits her head accidently.� �Bender points Leela to the front enterance.

Bender (to Leela):� �Out!� �Told you to let ME do the talking!�

Leela gets up and walks out of Malfunctioning Eddie's Car Shop.

Bender (to Malfunctioning Eddie):� Give us the most powerful, strongest, coolest things you got!� (gets a laser gun out of his compartment and points it at Malfunctioning Eddie.)

Malfucntioning Eddie:� How about a spacetank? (explodes)

Bender:� Great!� A Space Tank it is!��

Later on, Fry and Leela were walking back to Planet Express in the rain.� Bender was still at Malfunctioning Eddie's.� Or so they thought.��

Fry:� Spending that time with Preacherbot gave me an epiphany.� Really don't know what to do with it yet.

Leela:� Sure you will think of something.� �If you think about anything at all.....

Fry:� Where's Bender?

Leela:� He kicked me out.�� He did all the haggling.� Everything is always about him.� Never about us.��

Fry and Leela look behind them and see Bender was on the flying hovertank.

Leela:� Looks like he's right behind us.

Fry:� He's got a tank?

Leela:� Tanks are way too expensive.� � As long as we knew him there is no stopping Bender in what he wants to do.

Bender (in the tank about to shoot):� I believe a 'tanks' is in order!� �(shoots into the sky)� Gordon Gecko from Wall Street should've said, 'Tanks is Good!� �Tanks Works'!� (shoots a bank)

The vacant bank explodes into rubble.� Fry, Leela, and Bender were all back at Planet Express.� �Hermes, Farnsworth, Amy, and Zoidberg all ran out to see them.

Amy:� Anybody heard about that new megastore 'Wahl-Kohls'?��

Zoidberg:� They have prices even I can afford.

Hermes:� Come everyone.� � Stop talking about shopping and fun things and focus on what's important!� �Our jobs!� �Wonder what kind of ship....

Farnsworth, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg were all shocked by the spacetank Bender bought.

Hermes (awestruck):� Sweet Highways of Zimbabwe!� �A tank?!?!?!

Bender:� Correct-a-mundo baby!� �A tank! (stands on top of tank)� When I bought this, guess you can say I was, "Saving Private Ryan".� (laughs as he shoots into the air)

Farnsworth:� Bender!� �Space Tanks cost a billion dollars.� �You spent way beyond our means!� �

Then Leela assumes Bender was scammed.� �

Leela:�� Don't you see what happened?� You were scammed.� Should've let me stop you!

Bender:� Scammed?!� �You were knocked on your head, Leela.� But what you didn't see was, I robbed that dude!� �Nobody scams Bender!� Wanted a break from the usual boring humdrum of this job.� Been wanting to make Planet Express more spine-tingling and eye poping!� �(jumps from spacetank)

Fry:� He's got us there.

Leela:� Robbed him or not, we still have to pay for it.��

Farnsworth:� Putting the blame on the tank!� �This is all your fault, Bender!��

Bender:� I'll get off the hook for this!� �Hermes and Amy can pay for it.

Hermes:� No way, mon!� �We're not using our wealth to cover your shame.

Amy:� Guh!� We have better things to do with our money than to bail you out of your messes.� �

Leela:� Huh.� This is News for Huey Lewis!� �Planet Express will now go into debt all because of a spacetank we can't afford.

Farnsworth:� If this is how it's going to be.� If the spacetank is here to stay, one of you will have to get a second job.

Fry (jumps up):� I know what to do with my epiphany!

Bender (whispers to Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg):� Don't mind Fry.� Some religious fanatic brainwashed him.

Fry:� I'll be the hero in this!� �I will help pay for the debt Bender caused.

Amy:� What can you possibly do?

Fry:� Getting a second job.� �For I am going to work at Wahl-Kohl's!� �

Everyone exclaims sporadically as they all go back inside Planet Express.� �Fry goes to apply for a job at Wahl-Kohls.��

Leela:� Doesn't Fry realize a minimum wage job isn't going to pay off the debt the tank is going to cause?

Bender:� Religious epiphany!�� Those are just as bad as soul searching journeys!����Hate them both! ��Hope that cult from The Wicker Man gets him!

 

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Chapter Three:��

The rainstorm that is hitting all of the Eastern Seaboard continues on as Fry applied for a job at Wahl-Kohls.� �The store had everything.� A Toy Department, a Electronics Department, Men's, Women's and Childrens' Apparel, Groceries, Bedding Department, Automotives, Hunting and Fishing, Hardware, and Layaway.� The Manager was a brown haired,� blue eyed, tall, average heighted man.�

Manager (shakes Fry's hand):� Welcome to the Wahl-Kohl's family, Philip J. Fry.� We are so glad to have you on our team.�� Due to discrimination laws, �we hire anyone.� From geniuses to morons.�

Fry:� Good to be here.� What would you like me to do first?

Manager (shows Fry around):� Let's show you around.� � �Our Grocery aisle, Electronics, Hardware, Toys, Hunting and Fishing Supplies.��

Fry was being taken around Wahl-Kohls by the manager.

Manager:� And that concludes our tour.� Get to work now.� �We need you to stack some DVDs.

Fry:� No problem!� �You put your faith, trust, and hope in me!� � A Preacherbot inspired me to work here.��

Manager:� A Can-Do positive attitude is what we like best here.� �You get paid every Friday.

A week went by and the rainstorm seemed never ending.� Fry is flourishing at his job at Wahl-Kohls.� Fry is done with his shift for the day, and goes back to Planet Express to announce some good news that he hopes will being good cheer.� �But Fry didn't know what kind of a monster was waiting for him when he opened the doors.��

Fry (skipping and singing):� The Heat Is On!� �Burning Burning Burning!� �It's On The Streets!��

Farnsworth:� I'm afraid I have some bad news.��

Bender:� Zoidberg is going to do a cover of 'Boom Clap'?�� Or a duet with Charli XCX's head?�� Or even more horrible, Carly Rae Jepson's head?��

Farnsworth:� Nope.� �Right now, found out on Yahoo News that Wahl-Kohls now has it's own Delivery Service.� We lost our jobs here.� Planet Express is no more once again.� �

Hermes:� It's still mininum wage there, right?

Farnsworth:� No, from what I learned it's actually better pay than any job here in New New York!� �

Leela (face palms):� Oh, Lord.� There goes my job as a Spaceship Captain.

A Spaceship from Wahl-Kohls flies by Planet Express.� Zapp Branigan and Kiff were inside taunting the Planet Express Crew.� �Everybody was looking up Wahl-Kohls on the computer to see who else lost their jobs to the store.�� Zapp wanted to take a chance to degrade Leela.��

Zapp (calls out):� Hey, Leela!� Did you hear?� �Getting paid better here being the Wahl-Kohls' Spaceship Captain!� �Bet you wished you could've stayed with me now!�� (points to Leela)� Ha Hee Ha Ha!�Your loss!

Kiff (sighs):� Ha Ha.� Very funny.� �Whatever.

The Wahl-Kohls Spacechip flies away.� Everyone complains about how they lost their jobs as they look up jobs for Wahl-Kohls on the computer.�

Amy:� My poor fon-fon-ru Kiffy had to get suckered into working for that awful megastore.

Hermes:� Worst yet (checks the computer)� There's even a beaucracy there!� �

Amy (checks computer and gasps):� Lost my job as a physician and intern.

Zoidberg (checks computer):� �Now I'm even poorer than before!

Bender:� You guys all think YOU have it bad?� (takes the computer away forcefully)� Looking at the internet....searching.....searching...(gasps in horror) Mother Lovin' Daffodils! Now they even have beer and criminal activities there at Wahl-Kohls!� I even have to get my beer there now!��� There is no goddamed way I am buying my beer at that cheap ass one horse joint!� �They took away my alcohol, gambling, pimpin, bootlegging, and criming!� It's like freakin' Craigslist, baby!

Leela:� Pretty soon, we'll ALL have to work at Wahl-Kohls.� What could be worse?

Everyone lemants as Fry walks in.

Fry (excited and happy):� I'm back!� �What up, everyone!� (sees everyone is tense and feels the tension)� �Why all the long faces?

Bender:� You work at Wahl-Kohls, you tell us!

Fry:� Got my first paycheck!� It's actually a high paying job.� Almost enough to pay off Bender's tank debt.� Almost there, though.� Anyone heard now that Wahl-Kohls now has a Delivery Service?

Amy:� Take a hint, Fry.� That is exactly what we're upset about.

Farnsworth:� Big corporate businesses always beat out small companies.

Leela:� We all lost our jobs because of that stupid store.

Bender:� And you all wanted to blame the tank.

Hermes:� You're making money, and we lost our jobs.

At first, Fry does not want to believe it.

Fry (laughs):� I don't believe that at all.� You're all just making that up because you all resent me working there.��

Farnsworth:� You gave into corporate nonsense, Fry.� It is true.� We all looked it up on Yahoo News before you came in.

Bender (shoves Fry into a wall):� Your beloved (mocking) Wahl-Kohls, has taken away my all times favorite crimes!� �And worst yet!� (screams in Fry's face) �MY BEER!!!!!

Fry (getting up and feeling shaken):� �That was uncalled for.� Anyhoo.� �Get this.� The Manager there says I do an 'expectional' job.

Leela:� Your boss has to say that to you, Fry.� It's a equal opportunity employeer.� If they criticize you, they can lose their jobs and go to jail.��

Bender:� I prefer, Equal Opporunity Offender!

Fry:� �You may not believe the Manager, but I do.� The Manager has faith in me!� The Manager thinks I am competant and useful.��

Leela:� He says that to you because he doesn't want to get fired because that would mean Workers Discrimination.� � He doesn't want to tell you the truth that you're really an idiot!

Bender:� Discrimination?� That is one of my many strong suits!��

Farnsworth:� From now on, Fry is the new Zoidberg!

Zoidberg:� When we say Fry's name, we blow raspberries!

Amy:� That sounds underdeveloped,� Zoidberg.

Bender:� The more you work at Wahl-Kohls, the more we bash you!� �Fry is Scum!

Everybody (joining in):� Fry Is Scum!� Fry Is Lame!� �Fry Is Scum!� Fry Is Lame!� (points finers at Fry):� SHAME!! SHAME!! SHAME!!!��

Fry:� Know what?� I don't have to sit here and take this from you.� I am going back to work tommorow and continue on with my job.�� Who knows? �I might even stay there for good.� Still think your beliefs about my job taking your jobs away is a fairy tale.� You're all just feeling horrible about yourselves because I am making more money than you all.� That I ever did at Planet Express.� Ever since I came to the future, it's been the other way around.��� Me being the loser, and you all being the winners!� Now, who'd've thought that I would be the winner, and you all would be the losers?

Everybody throws paper wads at Fry.� Leela takes him into the living room.

Fry (voice breaking):� Thanks for taking me out of there.

Leela:� So, you don't believe it?� Think we made it up?

Fry:� Know you all did.� You all should be praising me for getting Planet Express out of debt with that spacetank.� Should be more supportive.

Leela:� This isn't about the spacetank, Fry.� It's true that Wahl-Kohls new delivery service made up lose our jobs.  
�  
Fry (standing crossarmed):� Still not buying it.

As Fry stands in a corner, Leela wheels out a black person's head in a jar.��

Leela:� Here to talk some sense into you is Garrett Morris from The News For the Hard of Hearing.��

Fry:� Where is this going?

Leela:� Fry!� �This store is costing us business and making us lose our jobs.

Garrett Morris (yelling):� FRY!� �THIS STORE IS COSTING US BUSINESS AND MAKING US LOSE OUR JOBS!� �

Leela:� It is the root cause of all our problems!

Garrett Morris (yelling):� IT'S THE ROOT CAUSE OF ALL OUR PROBLEMS!

Leela:� You are a total dumbass for falling for all this big business capitalism!

Garrett Morris (yelling):� YOU ARE A TOTAL DUMBASS FOR FALLING FOR ALL THIS BIG BUSINESS CAPITALISM!!!

Leela:� Thank you and have a pleasant tommorow.

Garrett Morris (yelling):� THANK YOU AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMMOROW!

Leela:� Did that make any difference to you, Fry?

Fry:� No.� I am still going to work there.

Leela wheels Garrett Morris's head back to the head museum as Fry looks on.

Garrett Morris:� Damn, his ass is skinnier than his brain.

Leela:� You don't know the half of it.� �But, thanks for trying anyway.

 

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Chapter Four:

 

A week later, the rainstorm ravages on.� The Streets of New New York are flooded and the whole city is now a ghost town.� Fry just got done with another shift at Wahl-Kohls and is getting ready to go back to Planet Express with his paycheck.� Fry was working in the Sporting Goods department.

Manager:� For doing such a great job working at this store, here's�another paycheck.

Fry (pleased and happy):� Running out of words for graditude.� (sees the rain)� Sure is getting flooded out there.

Manager:� Don't worry, here at Wahl-Kohls we're safe and protected from the flood.� We� even have a backup generator here in case there's a blackout.

Fry:� �You guys think of everything.� I'll be sure to tell my friends that.

Manager:� Next time you come, there might be a promotion in store for you!

Fry:� Wow!� Wish my friends would be happy for me about it.

Back at Planet Express, Bender, Zoidberg, Leela, Hermes, and Amy were watching the news.

Linda:� Sad sad day in New New York.� �Millions are losing their jobs to the Megastore Wahl-Kohls.� The rainstorm is almost flooding the city.

Morbo and Linda get handed a letter.

Linda:� Oh, no!� We lost our jobs as news anchors.� Wahl-Kohls has even taken away jobs from news reporters!

Morbo:� That's it!� I don't want to live on this planet anymore.� Tonight, I return to my home planet on the clipper!

Zoidberg:� I never heard of such a thing?

Bender:� Never heard of what?

Zoidberg:� He's going to get some candy with a zipper.

Leela:� This Wahl-Kohls store is even costings CEOs and billionaires like Donald Trump's head their jobs.

Bender:� Don't care about what you just said, Leela.� Did�any of you all take notice how empty the city is?� You know what that means?� Looting and crime spree!� �WWWOOOOOOO!!!!!� �(runs around excitedly)

Hermes:� Once Fry gets home, he's getting an earful from me!��

Bender (runs out the door and sings to the tune of Only Happy When it Rains by Garbage): I'm Goin' Lootin' In The Rain....

Amy:� We should blame Bender for this, too.� �Buying that stupid spacetank.� What was he thinking?

Leela:� When Fry gets here, keep your anger hidden from him.� Leave his scrawny ass to me.

A blackout in the entire city of New New York occurs as Fry walks into Planet Express.

Zoidberg (screams):� AAAAHHHH!!!!� �I want my Light Brite!�

Fry:� Hey, dudes!� How's it going.� �Got another huge paycheck.� Check out these smackaroos!��

Hermes:� Notice that, Fry?� A blackout just happened.��

Leela (mouths words):� Don't be mad.��

Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg take Leela's advice and pretended not to be mad at Fry.

Amy (listless):� We're still jobless.� Don't ask us how we feel.

Zoidberg (listless):� We're stuck in here for who knows how long.��

Leela has a plan to prank Fry.��

Fry:� �Awww.� No need to� treat me like I'm the enemy...� �Be mad at the megastore, not me.� You know, Wahl-Kohls has lots of power and electricity.� And protection from the floods.� �The Manager told me so himself.

Leela (pretending):� Oh, Fry.� �(faux hugs him)� I can't stay mad at you.� � So admirable of how you stepped up to the plate to work at this MegaStore.

Fry:� Wow Thanks!� �I love it how you're abetting me with this, Leela.

Leela:�� Always on your side, Fry!��� Want to come with me some place?�

Fry:� You have no idea how long I have been waiting to hear you say that.

Leela walks outside into the rain with Fry behind her.� They both walk in half flooded water.� Leela was leading Fry around the city.� In the background, Bender was breaking into abandoned buildings, businesses that were now closed, stealing, vandalizing with spray paint, and getting around on a surfboard in the flood.��

Bender:� Surf City USA!� �(laughs evilly)

Leela lead Fry into a vacant electrical post building.

Fry:� Cool building!� �Is this where we're going to have a date?

Leela:� Could say that.� �Getting to the point... this is a bathroom.� �Not just any bathroom.� It's one for good hard working employees like you.

Fry:� Nobody has ever called me 'Hard Working' before.� �I'm usually deemed 'Lazy'.

Leela:� Not this time around you're not.� Think you finally grew up.��

Fry:� Does this mean I am a "Working Class Citizen"?

Leela:� Congratulations Fry.� (secretly gets her EyePhone ready)� You just won yourself a trip to the Executive Bathroom.

Fry:� Executive Bathroom?� For all the great money I make?�� For all my dedication?� Dude!� Word up!� (walks in)

Leela closes the door on Fry.� Then she uses her EyePhone through a peephole in the door.

Fry (echos):� It's dark in here.

Leela:� That's how exclusive it is.� � Do your 'business' anywhere!

Fry urinates in the room in the dark electrical post building and receives a huge electrical shock and screams in pain.� Leela films the whole thing on her EyePhone.� �The post flashes inside.

Leela:� No wonder college kids play bathroom pranks.� �It's fun.

Fry gets out of the electrical post building and runs away.� �He jabbers nonsense as he's running around the city.� �A voice is heard from behind Leela.

Voice:� Spectacular stunt there, purple haired cyclops.

Leela (looks behind):� Woah!� Ha Ha !��� You scared me there.� Heh.�� Getting back at somebody here.

The voice is Daniel Tosh's head on a robot body

Daniel Tosh:� We want to use your EyePhone video prank for our show.

Leela:� Sure you can.� (hands Daniel Tosh The EyePhone) Hey, wait.� You're not one of those Johnny Knoxville types are you?

Daniel Tosh:� No, but I like to make fools out of people like that.�� Who make videos of themselves doing stupid stunts.� I have a Comedy Central show too.��

Leela:��� Then, who are you?

Daniel Tosh:� I'm Daniel Tosh!� �From Tosh.3000.� �Your video of you luring that loser into an electrical post and telling him it's a bathroom was hilarious beyond belief!� If you give it to me, we're going to use it for our "Prank Of The Week".

Leela (laughs):� You can go ahead and use it.� We Comedy Central shows have to stick together.

Daniel Tosh:� Think nothing about it.� (gets the EyePhone handed to him by Leela)� I'll put in a good word for you with my associate, Todd Glass.� Would you like to be a guest voice on my new show Brickleberry?

Leela:� Not going to take it that far. � Just take the video.

Daniel Tosh:� Okay!� �Bye for now.� Maybe our paths will cross again someday. (walks away)

Leela (calling out):� Yeah, maybe!� �(under her breath)� Got him!� �Soon Fry will be a laughingstock!

 

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Chapter Five:

 

Bender and Leela come back to Planet Express.� �Bender has a new plan.

Leela:� Took care of Fry.� �But not in the way that you think.

Bender (pushes Leela aside):� While I was out looting, vandalizing and robbing.� �Like Fry a few weeks ago, I had an epiphany of my own.

Hermes:� Sounds like that could be dangerous coming from you.

Amy:� You have a plan to get our jobs back?�� Not doing this for yourself, are you?

Bender:� �Even better!

Farnsworth:� Oh, Bender.� �Hope you're not planning on what I think you're going to do.

Everyone looks as Bender takes out a big bag from his compartment.� Inside there were sticks, art supplies, canvases, balloons, hovercar parts, and motor oil.

Bender:� As you all can see I robbed a lot of art stores, auto shops, and party supply stores.��

Leela:� What are you implying, Bender?

Bender:� We take all this stuff, and make protest signs.� Tell Wahl-Kohls to bite our shiny metal asses!� Do like the hippies do!� �Only we'll be more hardcore!��

Zoidberg (drinks motor oil):� Will this be a revolution?

Bender (slaps motor oil can out of Zoidberg's claw):� Save that for the water balloons!��

Farnsworth:� So,�Bender�you are planning an attack?� Against Wahl-Kohls the megatore?� If anything happens, I'll be in the angry dome.��

Leela and Amy paint the�protest signs.� Bender and Hermes fill the balloons with motor oil.� Fry walks in still shocked from Leela's prank.� �The signs said, DON'T WORK AT WAHL-KOHLS and WAHL KOHLS STOLE OUR JOBS.��

Fry (babbling):� D-d-d-d-d-on't� U-u-u-u-ssss-eee� th-th-th-th-th- Baaaaaa-thhhhh-roo-oo-oo-ooooooommmm!

 

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Chapter Six:

The next day the rain was heavier than before.� �Growing more terrible by the minute.� Fry was back working at Wahl-Kohls in the Electronics Department�as the Manager comes up to Fry with news about a promotion.��

Manager:� Did you know there's an APP video of you?

The costumers who were 20-something college students come up to Fry and laugh at him.� They were three men and a woman.��

Costumer #1:� Hey look!� �It's the electrical bathroom guy!� �(laughs)

Costumer #2:� Hey, moron!� �Did you know you are not supposed to urinate on�electricity?� (laughs)

Costumer #3:� Yeah, dude!� �Whoever made that video should get a medal!� �We saw it last night on Daniel Tosh's head! (slaps her thigh as he laughs)

Costumer #4:� That guy is so dumb, he _thought_ it was a bathroom!� �Turns out to be an electrical post!� (cracks up)��

The costumers walk away from Fry as they were still laughing at him.� �Fry feels saddended.

Fry:� How could Leela do this to me?� Thought she was happy with me working here.��

Manager:� Never mind them.� �That only thing that matters is you're an excellent employee!� �I have total faith in you that you will never fail.� �Anyway, you have done so well here at Wahl-Kohls that we are promoting you to Assistant Manager!

Fry (sadness subsides):� Yay!� In your face all you teachers that thought I had no future!� �

Manager:� As I always say, you are expectional!

The Manager hears Bender, Zoidberg, Leela, Hermes, and Amy outside protesting with the signs they made.��

Song:� Porno For Pyro's Tahitian Moon plays.

Amy:� We'll be like those protesters from Citizen Ruth.

Bender:� C'mon bonebags!� �Speak louder!�� We must create total anarchy!� �Let's be Ticked off White Trash Conservative Rednecks out this!

Hermes (over a megaphone):� What do we want?

Leela, Amy, Bender, and Zoidberg:� Shut down Wahl-Kohls!

Hermes (over megaphone):� Why do we want it?

Leela, Amy, Bender, and Zoidberg:� This store took away our jobs!

Manager:� Dammit!� Protesters!� �Fry?� Would you like to go out and stop them?

Fry (angerly):� As a matter of fact, I will.� Those protesters are my friends who turned against me for working here.��

Leela (over megaphone):� People are being decieved by this so-called megastore.� �Don't go into Wahl-Kohl's people!� �It's sucking all of New New York dry!

Bender (over megaphone):� Dry of our jobs!� �Worst yet.� Dry of all my beer,� and my crimes!� And now to commit crimes, I have to come work here?� Well, (beep) that!��

Fry:� Guys, please.� Let us not make a scene.� Just go home okay?� I know you want this store to close, but it's helping us pay for Bender's tank and I just got promoted.....

Bender (over megaphone):� Look!� It's one of them now!� Get 'im!

Hermes, Bender, Leela, and Amy all throw the party balloon filled with motor oil at Fry.� Then they throw some auto parts at him.� The motor oil balloons splattered Fry from head to toe.� Fry screamed high pitched as the motor oil balloons and auto parts were being thrown and landed on him.

Bender:� That's for depriving me of my beer!� You scrawny son of a bitch!��

Fry:� OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!� EEEEEHHHH!!!!� AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!� �(screams and walks back into Wahl-Kohls)� �You all could've hurt me badly!�� You all did!�� So much for epiphanies.� All this expirence did was make people hate me.� �At least my friends at Wahl-Kohls still like me.� (cries)

Bender:� Let's see him try to get a job with the color of that skin!� �(laughing)

Hermes:� Human hating bigot.

Bender:� Uhhhh, Zoidberg said it!� (points to Zoidberg) He said it! Not me!� Anyone heard what Zoidberg said?

Hermes (shakes fist at Zoidberg):� You'll hear about this later!

Zoidberg:� Everyone always pins things on Zoidberg.� (sees more people walk into Wahl-Kohls.)� �All of our protesting isn't paying off!

Amy:� Nobody is getting the message.� They're still going in.

More and more people walk into Wahl-Kohls ignoring the protests.

Zoidberg:� Say, I'll stop 'em!

Leela:� Yeah, and what are you going to do?

Zoidberg:� Go to the bathroom first.� My best ideas come from me going to the bathroom.

Bender:� Flush yourself down while you're there.� And take some cocaine with you.

As Zoidberg walks into the door to Wahl-Kohls, he is amazed by what he sees.  
�  
Song Ends

 

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Chapter Seven:

 

Now everyone who used to be a somebody in New New York was working at Wahl-Kohls.� Mom, Walt, Larry, and Ignar.� The Robot Mafia, Roberto, Flexo, Mayor Poopenmeyer, Leo and Inez Wong,� Linda and Morbo, Off. Smitty and URL.� Zoidberg now wants in.

Zoidberg (looks around the megastore):� �This megastore is a wonderland!� �Like John Mayer said about Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Manager:� It's good pay, too.

Zoidberg:� What can I do to be a part of this?

Mananger:� We can hire you.� We need someone to work at the grocery section.

Zoidberg:� Hooray!� �Zoidberg now has a high paying respectable job.��

After waiting a long time for Zoidberg to come out.� Bender, Leela, Hermes, and Amy all give up on protesting against Wahl-Kohls.

Leela:� It is like Zoidberg to give into something like that.� �Let's go back and think�about something else we can do to stop this.

Bender:� You know, (rubbing his fingers on his chin):� We still have that spacetank you know.....

Inside Wahl-Kohls Fry who was still full of motor oil and bruises shows Zoidberg the ropes and Zoidberg walks off.

Fry:� Here is where the groceries are....

Zoidberg is nowhere to be found.

Fry:� Zoidberg?� �Get back here.....I'm trying to.....This isn't funny....

Then Fry finds Zoidberg juggling plungers and balancing himself on a ball.

Zoidberg:� Weeee!� �Look at me!� �I�ought to get my own reality show!� � Hope someone notices!� (laughs hysterically)

Manager:� HEY!� Cut that out!� �This is a serious place of business!� � Not a circus freak show!��

Zoidberg (get off the ball):� Yes sir.

Manager:� �Fry, keep showing him around and for Pete's Sake, clean yourself up.� You're stinking up the place.��

Fry (shows Zoidberg around):� Let's review.� Grocery aisle....

 

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Chapter Eight:

 

At Planet Express everyone is now fed up with the disaster�and tragedy Wahl-Kohls has caused.�� Also the rainstorm.�� Now they are now�setting out to finish off the megastore�once and for all.�

Amy (throwing a can at the wall):� �We can't take this anymore.� �First it was the rainstorm, and that megastore is taking over the whole city.

Hermes:� Sweet Voting Poles of Naples.� �Bad enough Fry gave into the megastore, now Zoidberg, too?� �Not that I care about Zoidberg, by the way.

Bender:� There IS an end all miracle cure to all this.� You know, I did buy a spacetank...

Leela:� Know what?� Bender has a point.� If nothing is going to stop that megastore we must do it ourselves.� �The more this goes on, the more people are going to think Wahl-Kohls is a great place to shop.

Amy:� So, we take the tank the blow up the megastore?

Bender:� Now you're speaking my language!

Leela:� And whatever is left of the store, we can use the debris to build a new Planet Express ship.

Farnsworth:� No!� �I must stop this at once!� There is nothing we can do.

Bender:� Stick it up your ass, Professor!��

Farnsworth:� You don't understand.� Wahl-Kohls is the only thing that is keeping the city of New New York afloat.� �

Bender (to Leela, Hermes, Amy):� Get a groove on, bloodbones!� We're about to cause a 'Rumble In The Bronx'!��

Farnsworth:� Listen to the Professor!� �Megastore.....City....If you eliminate Wahl-Kohls you'll destroy the cornerstone and backbone of New New York.� You will cause damage and destruction to the whole city, too.� � �

Bender:� Ahh, hell!� �Got a criminal record anyway!� �Would like to have City Destruction on it next.� One of my many goals in life.

Leela, Bender, Hermes, and Amy all run to the spacetank, go inside and drive away and head to Wahl-Kohls.��

Farnsworth (calls out):� Come back!� �Come back!� Don't do it!� �All the jobs in New New York will be gone for good if you do this!� �You'll be sorry!��

At Wahl-Kohls, Zoidberg has eaten all the groceries.� The Manager confronts Fry about it.

Manager:� Fry.� You turned your back for 5 seconds and this new employee has eaten all the groceries.

Fry:� I was helping out a costumer.

Zoidberg looks sickly as the Manager drags him by the collar.��

Manager:� Save your excuses.

Zoidberg:� I want to apologize Fry.� �Please don't fire me.� This is the best job I ever had.� I was on the verge of getting a high paycheck.� Just so hungry....

Manager:� What is it going to be?� Your slobby friend?� Or your job?

Fry trembles in fear as he tries to render a decision.� Off in the distance, an explosion is heard.� Fry and Zoidberg both run into the men's bathroom stalls.

Manager:� Where the hell is this coming from?

Song:� Dandy Warhols Bohemian Like You plays.

The explosion came from the spacetank.� Bender, along with Leela, Hermes, and Amy were using the spacetank to blow up the store aisle by aisle.� Explosions occured all around.�� First the Sporting Goods aisle, Bedding aisle, Layaway aisle, then the Toy Department.�� Leela was loading the weapons and Bender is shooting from the gun barrel.� ��

Leela:� Usually against your acts of rebellion.� Now aim at that aisle and FIRE!

Bender:� The only time I like to take orders from you!� Clean up on aisle 10!� (launching weapons)

The space tank is destroying the megastore and blowing up the Grocery, Fishing and Hunting, and Men's and Women's Apperal aisles.� �All the costumers and employees run away scared.

Amy:� Careful not to hit Fry.

Hermes:� We can hit Zoidberg!

The Bedding, Automotives, and Hardware aisles were the next to go and becoming disinigrated by Bender as Wahl-Kohls was being reduced into rubble, the whole city of New New York was getting it's power and electricity back.� �The rainstorm was starting to let up.� �Farnsworth back at Planet Express notices the power coming back on.

Farnsworth:� I stand corrected.� (shamefully)� But I am never wrong!���

Meanwhile at the now destroyed Wahl-Kohls...

Manager (armed with a toilet brush):� This is unexceptable!

Bender runs the Manager over as he was now roadkill.� �Bender was headed to the men's bathroom and obliterate the bathroom stall.� Zoidberg sees the spacetank.� Bender aims�the gun�barrel at him.

Zoidberg: Oh, no!� �This is the end!� Always knew it would end this way!

Bender:� Yo, Zoidbutt!� �Smile!� You're�about to be on�Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd!

Leela:� Fire again, Bender!

Bender:� With gusto!

When Bender blew up the bathroom stall, Zoidberg ran away.� �Wahl-Kohls was no more.� All that remained was a toilet Fry was sitting on.

Fry (sobbing)� Of all the times I was a success, it gets taken away from me.

Leela, Bender, Hermes, and Amy get out of the tank.

Bender:� That.....was......so.......KICK ASS!� �I want to blow up buildings with a spacetank more often!� �

Leela: See?� It isn't so bad to take orders!

Bender:� Just don't get used to it.

Leela (to Fry):� Now do you see the truth about big businesses like Wahl-Kohls?

Amy:� He has to believe us now.

Fry:� Hearing it from your mouth to my ears, Yes!

Leela:� What do you say we go back to our small business, Planet Express, goofbag?

Fry:� I'm in.

Bender:� Keeping this tank for future reference.

Leela:� Don't need to!

Bender:� Awww, dammit!� �I plan to start an Earth and Planetary�invasion someday!

Hermes:� Now we can make a new ship!�

Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes and Amy picked up the debris to build a new spaceship for Planet Express.

 

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Chapter Nine:

 

Two weeks later, everyone who was employed in New New York all got their rightful jobs back.� As did our heroes at Planet Express.� �Businesses were blooming in New New York once again.� �Who were all watching TV.� �Although they were still mad at Fry and Zoidberg for working at Wahl-Kohls.� The rainstorm has finally stopped and it was now a sunny day.

Farnsworth:� Very happy to say Planet Express is back and everyone in New New York in employed again!

Fry:� Are any of you happy for me, too?� For making all that money?

Bender:� No!� �You're a filthy traiter.� Jerkwad! � �You're the Bowe Bergdahl of Planet Express.��

Leela:� Aren't we all glad we don't have to deal with megastores and tanks anymore?

Hermes:� We're still upset with you for working there and costing us our jobs, Fry.

Amy:� And for not coming over to our side and thinking Wahl-Kohls was great.�

Fry:� It's been two weeks.� Let it go!��

Bender:� Nope, never!

Fry:� Come on!

Leela:� Let's not punish him, let's just give him grief.��Look,�the rainstorm stopped.��

Farnsworth:� There is one way you can redeem yourself.

Fry (begging):� I'll do anything!

Farnsworth:� Why don't you take the new Planet Express ship for a spin?

A door opens and Zoidberg comes into the living room.

Zoidberg:� It has been two weeks and I have finally passed all those groceries.

Fry:� Fine.� I will.� �Pretty much know how to drive it watching Leela all those years.

Everybody watches as Fry goes into the new Planet Express ship made out of the debris and rubble from Wahl-Kohls.� �It worked better than the old one did.� �Fry actually manages to fly the ship into space and crashes on the moon.� Fry ends up in Luna Park and flies out of the Planet Express ship and lands into a toy machine.��

Bender:� He deserved it!� �Hold grudges against people who steal my crime and beer from me.��

Zoidberg:� Should welcome Fry into my world.

Hermes:� Let someone else get him.

Amy:� Not going to be us.

The day after, the new Planet Express ship was still in good condition and being brought back by a tow spacetruck.� �Leela and Bender run outside to get it.� �The Planet Express ship was parked by the building, and Bender and Leela go inside to find the toy machine Fry was stuck in.� They help him out.

Fry:� You guys!� Got some great news!

Bender:� We don't want to hear it.

Leela:� Let him speak....

Fry:� When I crashed into Luna Park, and landed in the toy machine, they offered me a job there!� �

Leela:� What goes around comes around!� At least the new Planet Express ship is okay.��

Bender:� And here we go again!� Last thing we needed!��

Fry:� Don't dispair!� The pay is excellent!

The Price is Right horn plays as the same old cycle was going to start up again.� Bender and Leela look at each other in disbelief.

 

THE END


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